I was having a hard time this morning. It was my first time going to my work since moving and it would take me at least an hour to get to work. I got up early and went.
I work across the street from my boyfriend and we start at the same time. I waited for him to come but I guess he was running late and never showed up. So to avoid being late I had to leave.
Recently I had begun seeing a therapist and found out that I had bad depression and anxiety. It made
me feel better that I finally knew why I was acting the way i had been and I could much easier try to control it and explain why I was acting the way I was.
Upon getting to work I saw nobody was in the office. I felt really alone and trapped. I didn’t want to be there alone. I was only 2 weeks into the job and the fact that I have had no training and was expected to be at the office alone, I couldn’t handle it.
Near tears I called my parents who I always felt shameful to. I was never able to do anything. I always felt like I was just quitting cuz I was lazy or something. They told It was okay and to come home.
When I left the office I passed my boyfriend. He waved at me through the window. I wanted to go in but his boss was there. I sadly waved back and left.
He texted me once I was on the train and I told him what had happened. He was surprisingly very encouraging. He has always been the one I felt the most shameful to. I felt I never was good enough for him. He worked 2 jobs, use to work 3. He is always so hard working and determined and he doesn’t get why other people can’t succeed the way he does. I felt like I was going to be bringing him and my parents such shame. I felt so guilty. But now I see how supportive and loving they are. And through it all, it will eventually work out. Everything happens for a reason. I’m so thankful to have them in my life.
In the end, I contacted my boss, and I have yet to hear back. I don’t know what my fate is, and I have a feeling I have lost my job, but again I’m thankful to the supportive people in my life. I love you.